Martin and Long - A Match Made In Heaven
Long - quite an impressive man
When Long and I first met, for both of us something stood out in the other that was undeniable, but in my case, at first, it was too easily dismissible. With Long there was a genuine openness and willingness to engage, which for anyone who has tried Internet dating before, let alone queer or gay internet dating, knows is a rare thing. Despite some deeply touching and moving conversations, and Long himself being quite an impressive man, it only took one message where he tried to impress me with his smarts instead of simply being himself for me to disengage; nothing like giving up on gold when it’s staring you in the face . . .
Long of course went into a spin, I was not the first man to walk away from such purity, and such he lost faith in men and relationships, not long after deleting his account – something that was a disappointment and wake up call to me when I returned a few months later, ready to give it a go, to discover his profile no longer there.
I had to go through my own process of course. I was still harbouring some junk from a previous relationship and instead of blaming my ex-partner for their shortcomings, had to stop and see my own, not as a whipping post of self-bashing but so that I could free myself of past patterns, past behaviours and simply see what was being shown to me – that they were not me and I deserved another chance.
Long, during this time, went through his own process, and in a quietly heroic feat, overcoming his own rejection and defeat, re-activated his account, claiming what he wanted and going for it – he messaged me.
In what one could be termed a serendipitous moment, but for me was no accident, this re-activation happened the day after I had realised my error, cleared my part and returned, only to discover Long gone. You can imagine the feeling when his message landed in my mailbox the next day . . . a confirmation.
The rest is a gorgeous and deeply inspiring history that we are currently in the making of, none of which would have been possible without the love and support of the many from, or associated with, Universal Medicine who provided me and now us with the foundation of how relationships can be and how we can work together as a couple.
I share this story, for what I appreciate about Long outside of his absolute delicateness, steadiness and willingness to love everyone equally, is his absolute steadfast commitment. There are many words to describe Long, but one that stands out strong is that he is solid. A man so undeniably willing to grow, to evolve, to explore and to settle for nothing less than truth, to live a life that is in all aspects of the word pure –
Martin - bringing me home
I had dabbled into online dating for a little while but never could I commit to truly giving it a go, nor had I met someone I could truly connect with. I came across Martin’s profile a few months after I decided I was ready to give dating a real go and to commit to a long-term relationship.
The very first impressions I got while reading his profile, is an undeniable feeling of ‘I am home’, so warm and genuine that even now as I’m writing about this I can still remember what that felt like. This is so important and perfectly timed given a particularly traumatising experience I just went through. I felt so safe and held just by reading what he wrote about his life and his love for his housemates/family. It radiates with warmth, love, honesty and transparency – qualities that I had not come across at all with online dating up to that point. Therefore I couldn’t help but feel the urge to message him first (something I had never done until then). It took only a couple of messages in, when he just stopped replying altogether without explanation. I went from hopeful to hopeless and lost. There I was thinking that I was returning home from such a long voyage out into the turbulent sea yet it all somehow turned out to be just another mistake. At that point I gave up not only on finding a partner, love, but also myself.
After a little while, upon deep contemplation about life, reflection on myself and allowing myself to feel again and to trust in that feeling, I decided to return to the ‘battlefield’ and try to get in touch with Martin, without any expectation. It was my first step out to reclaim both my self-worth and trust in others and in the constellation of life.
What happened next was like a fast-forward to our current time, filled with deep conversations, expansive openness, life-changing challenges and of course, beautiful memories. Everything that has happened since our second chance has completely transformed my life for the better.
What I have come to learn and understand about love is nothing new, but everything that he has reminded me everyday, how I already know them all and I’m simply returning to them by being and loving myself. That’s perhaps the most radical revelation and loving reminder I have ever received. Having Martin as my first ever boyfriend and now life partner is a blessing I always wished for.
His love expands beyond our relationship and into the rest of humanity and his dedication and commitment to truth and evolution, while at times terrifying to me, are both beautiful and inspiring. How his values perfectly align with mine is somewhat uncanny. But how he has shown me where I sold out along the way and how deep down I am hiding the truth, waiting for a safe moment to come out again, are more healing than confronting. He holds the same care, firmness and tenderness with everyone else in his life and even any unassuming soul crossing his path. Beautiful. And this mutual alignment of purpose is and will be the gel binding us for the rest of our lives together. ~ Long